Fuck everything... I think life is turning me into a despicable person. I don't handle anxiety and stress very well, and I become pretty shitty when life gets to be too much. School, work, extracurriculars, relationships, lack of relationships, homework, my shoddy health. IB really is fucking hard. I didn't think it would be that hard last year, but now I know. I've always felt like I can do whatever I set my mind to, I still think that, but I'm realizing that that doesn't make things easy.
I don't understand my school anymore- I see people in the halls, I listen to their conversations, I see how they behave. It's like a weird mystery to me. Why? Why? WHY!? Why wear minuscule shorts when it's 30 degrees outside? Why intentionally neglect your homework in a remedial class and fail? Why smoke cigarettes in school? Why pop mollies in school? What the fuck are these people thinking? Where in the fuck will they be in 20 years? 5 years even?!
I feel so under-appreciated. I'm so done with high school and this fucking town.
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