I am such a fucking dick sometimes. I really am. There are times that I don't think so- that I'm complacent and content with who I am as a person. There are times that I know I'm being a dick and just don't care. And there are times that I force myself to be a dick because it's often easier to make it in this world as an asshole.
It's just so much easier to scoff at the world- so much easier to be apathetic and uncaring- to defiantly blow smoke in the eyes of the people who actually care and are sensitive. That is one thing that I am most definitely not: sensitive. Earlier today, I was bitching about religion and theodicy and accidentally offended one of my friends who (it turns out) is a Mormon. I do this all the time. I tease and make fun of people who are different than me (sometimes knowingly sometimes not) and then hurt people's feelings.
That's really the last thing I want to do. There's enough shit in this world without me belligerently prodding and cutting people down. I've been bullied and teased enough to know better. So to those of you who know me, if I'm being a pretentious asshole, PLEASE STOP ME! I want to get better and I could use some help. I face the world with smirk... I think it's time to face it with some empathy, and sensitivity, and kindness, and (if I can muster one) maybe a smile :-).
I've been told my smile looks like a smirk. I'm sure you don't care if I were to tell you you're being mean. Just as a reminder, I've been doing that for years.
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