Writer's Block

I can't write like I used to... I'm not sure if that's because I'm slowly becoming more sane, or if I'm losing control of my most superlative attribute. I used to come home from school and get right to work on continuing my novel. I wrote the damn thing in less than six months- 100,000 words (and that includes two edits). Jesus! I'm crazy sometimes.

Maybe it's discouragement. I haven't really heard much about getting The Crusade published. It's typical though... getting published for the first time is always really hard. Really the only response I've gotten for the hundreds of hours I spent writing it is scattered praise from various teachers who never tire of telling me how impressive I am (although none of them have fucking read it). My peers love it, but there's no way I could market it to their niche- it's far too edgy.

I'm so self-obsessed... I won't be happy with my writing until all I hear is praise and I make millions off of my brilliance. I've talked to so many writers and poets and musicians who are unsure of their abilities. I've never had that problem. I know that I'm great and I want everyone to share that belief. Perhaps it's that self-realization that's stopped me from writing lately. Perhaps the humility I have left is urging my person to focus more on the other parts of my life. I don't think it's cliche to strive towards being a "well-rounded person". I'd hate to spend my whole life confined to one area- I want to experience everything before I die. Still though... I'm starting to hate this damn writer's block.