Meaning

Meaning is as elusive and fluid a thing as any ideology or philosophy and we all search for it in our own ways. Many of us prescribe to the traditions and religious conventions that our parents press upon us, many of us bask in complacency and find meaning in worn out idioms and bromides, and many of us (like Siddhartha) break away from the norm and often comfort itself to find structure and fulfillment. I fit into the third group and I've always had a profound respect for Siddhartha and his endeavors (I mean the original Buddha but we can equate the protagonist of Hesse's novel to the age-old deity without any convolution). Largely because of my interests in the strivings of our young protagonist and the religious figure he is modeled after, I have practiced asceticism before and am always interested in the new experiences that it brings me. The spirit is often moved in the absence of distractions, and many believe that in this time of separation we find the meaning that we want so desperately. 
I've always been somewhat excited at the prospect of practicing self-denial. I enjoy breaking from the norm and trying things that most people don't often try. Conformity is often the tar that keeps us from leaping metaphysical bounds. Hesse's Siddhartha did put it well when he said to his father, “(I will) leave your house tomorrow and go to the ascetics.” I can almost feel his anticipation at the adventure that breaking away from old habits and looking for meaning can bring. Regardless of religious intent, we can all find a soft spot for adventure, that tingling sensation that brightened our eyes as children and inspired hours of playtime in treetops or playground equipment. I concur with Siddhartha in this regard, and when I began my quest to deprive myself of video games I was excited for the challenge that my new resolution posed.
Also there is a definite feeling of freshness that can be associated with the practice of asceticism. I often harbor contempt for all of the meaningless activities that pervade my body and mind. We only have so much time to live and living it in the pursuit of meaning is far more worthwhile than simply filling oneself with empty pleasures that do not fulfill. Again Hesse's Siddhartha said it better than I can, “...it (diversions) all pretended to be meaningful and joyful and beautiful.” I've often found the lies and coercion of admen disgusting because of their tendency to push products that people don't need. When I hear the word consumer, I think of the more literal foodie gorging himself on the food that one eats after their daily rations cease to be sustenance. The advertisers who push video games are not innocent by any means. Video game previews and posters line the remembrances of daily life, as inescapable and resolute as any tree, stone or natural phenomenon. The sad thing is that these games are diversions- they offer no metaphysical importance or inner peace. So what if one completes a level or even a game? What meaning does that hold. I continued to ponder this as I abstained over the week.
I reached beyond the surface this week as well. I know many ascetics (though they wouldn't call themselves that) who practice abstinence far more religiously than I do. I have never understood them and I've always been skeptical of them. In direct relation to my item, I have a few friends who never play video games. This seems extreme to me and I don't entirely understand their resolution; however, I do wonder if they are truly fulfilled in their abstinence- if they've found any sort of meaning in cutting away the meaningless things that we so often cling to. I don't know if they do, I never really have. The following description of Gotama mirrors my wonderment at the abstinent, “The Buddha's eyes looked to the ground quietly, quietly, in perfect equanimity his inscrutable face was smiling.” I often wonder what emotions exist behind the seemingly contented smiles of the pious. I often wonder if they've truly attained the meaning that they claim gives them fulfillment.

I am a skeptic by nature and can admit with relative confidence that I have never found fulfillment in any sort of religious, or more specifically, ascetic endeavor. It is interesting, but nothing more. I always enjoy numbing or sharpening my senses and intuitions- for the sake of new experience if nothing else. That's really all I view asceticism as. It's interesting but there's no inherent meaning behind it. It brings absolutely nothing to us as humans. I'm convinced that nothing does, and that every endeavor that we pursue is nothing but a distraction. As humans we break over the pain and injustice in the world and we try to fill the void that our sadnesses bring through whatever diversion seems the most fitting to our personalities and (most obviously our physical attributes).

There is no such things as meaning, only distractions and lies. Asceticism (though at times interesting) is a futile experience. It is for that reason that I am a hedonist. I intend to live in the moment and divert my attention from the pointlessness of life as much as I can. Asceticism is abstinence and limits the pool of diversions that we can choose from. Given my worldview, this is silly. Why limit methods for having fun? Siddhartha found no meaning in his asceticism, which I assure you was far more severe than my own. With that in mind, how can I expect my miniscule attempts at self-deprivation to bring any sort of enlightenment. Siddhartha's ambitious attempts did nothing for him, and in all honesty, I don't think asceticism has done much for anyone ever. It is just another diversion. That's not say that we should all kill ourselves though. Life is still beautiful at times and that beauty makes it worth living (at least that's my current opinion).

"The web of life is a beautiful and meaningless dance. The web of life is a process with a moving goal. The web of life is a perfectly finished work of art right where I am sitting now."

Robert Anton Wilson